R1/2 -- Chris Collins (1clc0772@unixstew.tstc.edu)

 Ok, you three, from this point on, I want you to cut with the in-story
comments--they're distracting and they're getting stale.  I'm getting too
many complaints.  And that means no more "Why Shampoo cock head?" *groan* I
can't believe I said that. (OLD VOICE: *sniffle* Ya really mean it?  No
more?) (CHEF'S NOTE: Well that sucks.) (CUTE VOICE: This is stupid.)
 Well, on with the show....

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              |       An Iron Dagger Production        |
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 The mid-morning sun shone through the blinds of a moderately nice motel
room and cast parallel bars of light across two figures lying together on
the bed.  A tall, blonde man in a smudged and grass-stained white robe lay
on his back with his hands cupped comfortably behind his head,
contemplating, while a sleek, orange-and-blue-striped tiger woman snuggled
close, her head resting on his chest, her tail twitching lethargically over
the side of the bed.
 She glanced up to her lover with sleepy eyes and moaned, "We must find my
brothers soon and leave.  I can already sense that my presence is starting
to affect those around me.  I've done enough damage already...."
 "Shhh."  Half-smiling down at her, he laid a hand atop her head and
started slowly stoking her fur down to her back.  "Please, Rose," he
whispered, "we've been searching for them all night, and you've only had
three hours rest in the past two days.  You're exhausted."  When he still
felt tension in her muscles, he slid his hand down her form and started
scratching the small of her back just above the base of her tail, cooing,
"I will continue the seach in a little while.  But I won't leave until I
know you've fallen asleep."
 Inhaling sharply, the tiger woman arched her back and crooned as waves of
pleasure ran up and down her spine.  "Mmmmm!"  Smiling and slightly
flushed, she wrapped her arm under his shoulder and pulled herself closer,
allowing herself to melt into his form as her remaining strength quickly
discipated.  Closing her eyes, she purred.  He really knew how to make her
calm down. (CUTE VOICE: *dreamy sigh* Ai-ya.)

 Meanwhile, a mysterious shadow steadily retreated from a brown-robed
figure who sat silently perched atop the roof.  His head was lowered, a
restrained, maniacal scowl visible on his darkened orange-and-blue
tiger-striped face, as he stared at his own shadow.  His clawed fingers
gnarled and raking into the shingles chisels into hardened clay.  _That
bastard!  How can that monster live with so much blood on his hands...!
This time, Thyme will to pay!_

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              |        Written and Directed by:        |
              |        Christopher Lee Collins         |
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 "Ranma-honey... you need to eat SOMETHING."  Ukyou blinked a few times in
concern as she sat with her legs folded beneath her and, with both hands,
held a plate of her best okonomiyaki, chopsticks on the side, up to Ranma's
chest like a reverant servant appeaseing her king.
 *sigh* Ranma, sitting slumped against a tree, his head drooping down to
shoulder-level, glanced up at the plate for a moment before lowering his
eyes again.  Emotionless, he mumbled, "Nothing 'gainst it, Ucchan, but I'm
not hungry right now."
 "Kya!"  Ukyou's eyes widened in panic, a few beads of sweat flying from
her forehead.  Frantically, she put the plate down and hastily cut the
pancake with a knife, then plucked a piece with the chopsticks and held it
up to his mouth.  Almost tearful, she pleaded softly, her voice quivering,
"C'mon, Ran-chan... it's lunchtime already.  You look as though you haven't
eaten in days.  Just take a bite, please... for me."
 Ranma looked up at her again, then at the piece of food she held; looking
back up into his friend/fiancee's shimmering gaze, he opened his mouth a
bit to take it.  But before he could close his mouth around the morsel, a
familiar, poetic shout caught his, as well as Ukyou's, attention: "Fiend!
Sorcerer!  How many women must you cast into your servitude?!"
 "?"  Ranma and Ukyou both glanced over her shoulder to see the great and
righteous Tatewaki Kunou, Defender of His Own Little World, standing firm a
dozen yards away with his bokken pointed forward, the folds of his outfit
blowing dramatically in the breeze.  With a smirk on his face, he stated
with amusement, "It would seem that I have had the fortune of finding you,
Saotome, at a time of weakness--a time when you must prey on innocent women
to do even the most meanial of tasks...."  With that, Ukyou blushed.  Kunou
continued, "I find this a most convenient opportunity to vaquish your
trickery forever!  Fear not, Fair Kuonji, I shall force the vile wizard to
release you!"  With a battlecry, he rushed forward to glory.
 !WHAM! Ranma stared forward curiously, holding the plate of food and
chopsticks in his arms, and watched wide-eyed as Ukyou held her spatula
against Kunou's face and chest, his hands up in warding and his body
twitching nervously.  Her eyes closed in calm fury, she pulled back her
spatula and batted him over the school, shouting, "Can't you see we're
having an intimate moment here!"

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              |    Based on Characters Created by:     |
              |            Rumiko Takahashi            |
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 _Oh Ranma_ Akane sighed as she watched him and Ukyou from behind a nearby
tree, her own eyes starting to fill with worry.  _What IS wrong with you?_
 "Why don't you just go and apologize to him?"
 "Hn?"  Akane stiffened in surprise at the sound of Nabiki's voice, then
turned around to see her sister standing next to her with her hands behing
her back; Sayuri stood right behind with a curious expression as she
watched Ranma and his "other" fiancee.
 Shaking her head a bit, Akane asked, still somewhat shocked, "But why
should I...?"
 Nabiki held up a finger and scolded, "You were pretty mean to him this
morning, y'know.  And Ranma seemed really hurt by what you said, Sis."
 "But...."
 Before Akane could protest, Sayuri chimed, "You should be the one feeding
him and trying to cheer him up.  So far, it looks like Ukyou's close to
winning Ranma from you."
 "But...."
 Nabiki winked and pulled a lunchbox from behind her back.  "I got Kasumi
to make his favorite stir-fry.  Now go out there and show him what a good
fiancee you are."

 Ranma set the plate down, untouched, and stood up to leave.  "Stop tryin
to cheer me up, Ucchan.  I hate to see you like this."
 Ukyou dropped her spatula and rushed in front of her fiancee to restain
him by the shoulders once again.  Then, pulling her head up against his
chest, she sobbed, "I don't like to see you like this either!"  Ranma
raised his eyebrows.  Ukyou explained, "I can't bear to see you this
sad--not after what you told me last week in the bath!"
 !CRASH! Ukyou glanced to the side to see Akane and Nabiki splayed on
either side of a nearby tree, each of them with hands tensed into claws and
faces withdrawn in dazed shock;  Sayuri stood behind Akane with hands
clutched in front of her mouth as she looked around nervously.
 Ranma, held in place by the distracted okonomiyaki chef, waved his head
around in panic, yelling hysterically, "Ucchan!  What're ya sayin?!"

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              |      Akane Tendo and Ukyou Kuonji      |
              |                  in:                   |
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 "So is it true, Akane?" "Are you breaking up with Ranma?" "Are you going
to kick him out?" "Is Ranma moving in with you, Ukyou?" "Will you be
working together?" "Are you sleeping with him?" "HEY!" "Are you pregnant,
Ukyou?" "NO WAY!"
 Little Miss Ninomiya Hinako had no idea how these things got so
out-of-hand--or how these rumors got so rediculous.  The school was full of
nothing but a bunch of delinquents!
 She stood on her desk with her fists clenched and her cute little apple
face contorted into a grumpy, narrow-eyed frown that many children her
respective age got when they didn't get their way.  _Ooh!  They never show
me the respect I deserve!_
 All of the class seemed to be grouped around the desks of three
individuals: most of the girls flocked around Akane, who had her arms
folded and brow furrowed in a poisonous scowl as she muttered biting
responses about how deceitful Ranma was.  Most of the boys flocked around
Ranma, hounding him about what he was doing with Ukyou and if Akane was now
free; but, to Ms. Hinako's surprise, Ranma just sat slumped in his desk,
chin on desk, strangely withdrawn.  The rest hovered around the chef like a
bunch of hungry vultures, whom she was sorely protesting at every squawk,
nearly pulling her hair out trying to get them to go away.
 In short, in Ms. Hinako's opinion, it was loud.
 Stamping her foot on her books, she yelled, "Quiet, class!"
 A hush fell over the whole room, each student staring at the teacher.  But
after a second's thought, they turned back and continued their loud clamor
like she hadn't said a thing.
 An angry fizzle appearing above her head, the youthful teacher marched
furiously in place and quickly plucked a five yen coin from a pocket
somewhere on her dress.  Then, holding it out between her index and middle
fingers, she shouted, "Happou Goen...!"
 Suddenly, a flying pencil harpooned the coin and carried it from her
grasp, knocking it against the blackboard and to the floor. !Ptick! The
whole room was deathly quiet again as they stared at Ranma, whose hand was
half-open at the apex of his throw--yet he still had a depressing frown on
his face.  All the students, except for Akane, started clapping.  Ranma
just sighed and slumped down again, letting his hand go limp.
 After staring at her fallen coin for a few nervous seconds, Hinako turned
around and, noticing that the class was completely quiet and staring at
her, coughed assuredly into her hand.  Next, she bounced down from her desk
and walked up to Ranma.
 But instead of lecturing him on the proper use of pencils, she put her
arms behind her back and asked in her child-like way, "Mr. Saotome, what's
wrong.  You look so sad."  But after getting little more than a tired
groan, she ventured to guess, seeing this sort of withdrawl before: "Have
you lost someone dear to you?"
 Ranma glanced up, and after an uneasy pause, slowly nodded.
 "!"  Hinako gasped in shock and the whole class started murmering.  Then,
laying a delicate hand on his arm, she whispered, "Saotome... go home.
Your aura is very weak."
 The class began murmering louder as Ranma slowly got up and trudged out
the door without a word.  Meanwhile, Akane groaned bitterly.

              -----------===================------------
              |            P.S. I LOVE YOU             |
              |                Part II                 |
              |          Showdown in Nerima:           |
              |      "The Death of Akane Tendo"        |
              -----------===================------------

 The door to the motel slid open and Thyme casually stepped out onto the
sidewalk, a female voice ringing from inside, "I hope you enjoy your
visit," before the door slid shut again.  The few passers-by in the area
seemed to be arguing with someone else over something, but the ones that
passed by him respectfully stepped around him, thinking him some kind of
priest considering the white robe he wore.
 Paying little attention to them, Thyme glanced upward at the sun.  It was
past noon.  He needed to make up for lost time.  He needed help.
 After looking around the area to get his bearings, he pulled his robe's
cowl over his head to block the sun, then turned and hurried in the
direction of the Nekohanten.

   ----- * * * * * -----

 Rose lay curled on the bed, smiling and purring, soundly asleep.  Her mate
had raised the blinds before he left, and the full rays of the sun passing
through the window had become a warm blanket of light that tightly hugged
her body, making her naked coat shine like a baby cheetah.  With a moan of
comfort, she stretched her limbs and flexed her jowls in a yawn, then
rolled onto her back and sprawled herself across the covers, allowing the
sunlight to saturate even more of her body.  She felt totally relaxed.
 !fwap! Her slumber was rudely interrupted when a pearlescent lump of
fabric was heaved onto her chest.  "Put your robe on, Sister!  I not want
to be reminded of your sex life with that... BARBARIAN!"
 "!"  Rose's eyes snapped open and she quickly sat up to face the intruder,
which only made her head spin and forced her to fall back on her elbow.
She rubbed her head, then looked across the room to see Parsley standing by
the door, his fangs bared and his chest heaving wildly.
 Rose looked startled to see him, then looked down at her positioning on
the bed.  "Ack!"  She instantly pulled her robe close and drew her knees to
her chest, facing him.  She squealed, "You always were a little pervert,
Parsley!"
 "WAS NOT!"  Throwing his arm to the side, he roared, "NEVER MIND!  Just
tell me!  Was it really Thyme and his pervert father who destroyed our clan
250 years ago?"
 Rose, without meaning to, drew back in shock.  _No!  How could he know?_
 Parsley's scowl darkened and his hands balled into tight fists.  "So it IS
true!  He tells you everything, does he not?  You traitor!"  With that, he
flung a spear-headed chain at his sister.
 !RIP! Rose quickly rolled off the bed as the chain impaled the matress,
then sprang backwards into the corner of the room as another crashed
through the floorboard.  Most of the buildings tenants started yelling,
unsure of what was going on.
 Rose, sweating through her fur, pulled her robe close like a shield and
looked around nervously for a chance to escape.  Frantically, she
stammered, "W-Wait, Brother!  He kept it from you for your own good!"
 Parsley punched a chain through the wall by her right arm, making her
shriek in terror.  Tilting his head to the side, he tried to understand,
"For my own... GOOD?!"
 Rose continued, crouching down, "Thyme is very ashamed of what he did!
But he did it and there's nothing he can do to change that...!"
 "HE kill our clan and our family!"  Tears welling in his eyes, he sent a
chain rocketing for her head.
 "Ack!"  Rose ducked to the side and covered her head in time to feel
shards of wood raining on top of her, then she broke into a run toward the
window.  But before she took two steps, a chain lashed painfully around her
ankle.  "Ow!"
 Parsley pulled his sister off her feet, then started pulling her toward
him.  Stuggling violently, Rose pleaded, "He tried to make up for it by
taking over as the clan leader!  He didn't want you or Sage to know...!"
 Parsley grabbed her by her hurt ankle and hoisted her into the air.
"Listen to yourself!  Our purpose is not to please only HIM!  We do not
have to get down on all fours and respectfully do whatever he asks!"  Rose
kicked her free foot up and smacked her heel into his face, and while it
jolted him, it neither made him let go nor made him stumble.  She swung her
foot around again, but he caught her ankle with his other hand before she
could get any momentum into it and held it straight out to his side.  He
smiled wickedly, taunting, "But then, we are not the ones always spreading
our legs for him."
 "PERVERT!" !WHAM! Rose swung her body around and clobbered Parsley in the
jaw with anime super angry-woman power. !THUD! Parsley crashed to the
floor, arms bent up in warding, as Rose jumped off of his head and raced
out the door, doing her best to slip on the robe without slowing.
 Screams and panicking from the tenants could once again be heard as she
rushed down the hall.